It's that time of year again. Time to put my thinking cap on and study chemistry, biology, psychology, physiology, and any other science subject there is in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor.
To be quite honest, I was actually scared of how I would be when I got back from Guatemala.
Before Guatemala, I had a mild depression episode because I shut myself in and did nothing but study....but that's another story for another time.
In short, Guatemala was an escape from reality where I was able to live my dream and be happy. But now I'm back in reality....
But I'm doing fine actually. Better than I thought I would be. :)
Now sure, the first day of school was kinda a mess. I lost both my TA position and my position in my research lab due to losses in funding and the fact that I didn't have internet connection (lesson learned).
But don't worry. After an entire day of running around campus like a maniac and emailing just about everyone I knew, I managed to regain my TA position. The lab position is still pending....maybe there's a reason why I'm not engaged in research at the moment. With my workload and extracurricular load I think I might just explode.
A month has passed and that explosion hasn't happened yet. Sure, I've cried every now and then, but I haven't exploded to depression levels. I don't even have an acne problem now. I have a new, positive outlook in life!
And it's all thanks to 11 people.
Persons #1-9: SNSD.
If you didn't know by now, my favorite girl group of all time is Girls' Generation. And now you know hahaha. :)
There's just something about their music that speaks to me, even though I have to look up translations to truly understand their lyrics. One of my favorite songs of all time from them is the Song of the Day. It's a beautiful song that talks about how much stronger they are because someone (God, a guy, family, any loved one really) loves and believes in them. Yeah, American music got nothing on this shiz.
Person #10: David Sunun.
This boy. What is there left to say about him? A lot actually, since I learn something new about him every time we talk. Since coming back to BYU, I've felt the physical loneliness since my closest friends are either married or getting ready to get married and are busy with their husbands/fiances/ boyfriends. And yet, even with 2000 miles and a computer screen separating us, I don't feel lonely when I talk to him.
Just the other day, he invited me to this gala that's taking place in Mazatenango even though I can never go. Why? Because he knew how much I've always wanted to be invited to a gala like a Disney princess (yes, that is a legitimate dream of mine. What girl hasn't dreamed of being a princess?).
He was shocked to hear (read?) that I've never been asked out to a formal dance before and got upset.
I started tearing up partly because he was being cheesy and partly because I thought I would never live out my dream of feeling like a princess for just one night. And then he says this:
Not only did I feel his love for me, but I also felt HIS love for me.
Person #11: Heavenly Father
My Heavenly Father sure loves to spoil me. He allowed me to come to this awesome institution that is BYU. He allowed me to have a supportive- and overprotective- family like mine. He allowed me to experience the dream that was Guatemala. And finally, He allowed me to feel His love through a boy that sees me as a beautiful, virtuous woman worthy of love.
Though I am not perfect, though I sometimes come up short, though I sometimes can't see it, I know that I am a Daughter of a King and I know that I will reach my happily ever after in the end. I love you Heavenly Father, and with your love and guidance, I will continue to walk this distant road without fear.....even if it means I have to walk alone for now.
But am I truly alone? No. There's a girl in San Diego who believes I can make it. There's a man and woman in Santa Ana who constantly support me because they have faith that I can reach my goal. There's a boy traveling around Europe right now who cheers me on with every step I take. There's a girl in Spain who worries about me. There's an old man in La Perla who knows I can do it. There's a family in Retalhuleu who constantly prays for me. There's a boy in San Felipe who sees the divine potential in me.
And that's enough to keep moving forward. That's why I have a new perspective on life.
For those afraid to walk alone in life...don't be afraid anymore.
This journey in life will all be worth it in the end. I promise.
So....ready to take that first step?
Love,
Princess Maya
A month has passed and that explosion hasn't happened yet. Sure, I've cried every now and then, but I haven't exploded to depression levels. I don't even have an acne problem now. I have a new, positive outlook in life!
And it's all thanks to 11 people.
Persons #1-9: SNSD.
If you didn't know by now, my favorite girl group of all time is Girls' Generation. And now you know hahaha. :)
There's just something about their music that speaks to me, even though I have to look up translations to truly understand their lyrics. One of my favorite songs of all time from them is the Song of the Day. It's a beautiful song that talks about how much stronger they are because someone (God, a guy, family, any loved one really) loves and believes in them. Yeah, American music got nothing on this shiz.
Person #10: David Sunun.
This boy. What is there left to say about him? A lot actually, since I learn something new about him every time we talk. Since coming back to BYU, I've felt the physical loneliness since my closest friends are either married or getting ready to get married and are busy with their husbands/fiances/ boyfriends. And yet, even with 2000 miles and a computer screen separating us, I don't feel lonely when I talk to him.
Just the other day, he invited me to this gala that's taking place in Mazatenango even though I can never go. Why? Because he knew how much I've always wanted to be invited to a gala like a Disney princess (yes, that is a legitimate dream of mine. What girl hasn't dreamed of being a princess?).
He was shocked to hear (read?) that I've never been asked out to a formal dance before and got upset.
 |
He said that guys over here are blind and that they can't see the beautiful things in front of them :,)
|
I started tearing up partly because he was being cheesy and partly because I thought I would never live out my dream of feeling like a princess for just one night. And then he says this:
 |
| I'm a princess. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. (Sorry for the cheesiness, but that comes along with this amazing human being) |
Not only did I feel his love for me, but I also felt HIS love for me.
Person #11: Heavenly Father
My Heavenly Father sure loves to spoil me. He allowed me to come to this awesome institution that is BYU. He allowed me to have a supportive- and overprotective- family like mine. He allowed me to experience the dream that was Guatemala. And finally, He allowed me to feel His love through a boy that sees me as a beautiful, virtuous woman worthy of love.
Though I am not perfect, though I sometimes come up short, though I sometimes can't see it, I know that I am a Daughter of a King and I know that I will reach my happily ever after in the end. I love you Heavenly Father, and with your love and guidance, I will continue to walk this distant road without fear.....even if it means I have to walk alone for now.
But am I truly alone? No. There's a girl in San Diego who believes I can make it. There's a man and woman in Santa Ana who constantly support me because they have faith that I can reach my goal. There's a boy traveling around Europe right now who cheers me on with every step I take. There's a girl in Spain who worries about me. There's an old man in La Perla who knows I can do it. There's a family in Retalhuleu who constantly prays for me. There's a boy in San Felipe who sees the divine potential in me.
And that's enough to keep moving forward. That's why I have a new perspective on life.
For those afraid to walk alone in life...don't be afraid anymore.
This journey in life will all be worth it in the end. I promise.
So....ready to take that first step?
Love,
Princess Maya
Maya, I love you!
ReplyDeleteYou are one of the greatest people I know and you inspire me to be strong. I am always here for you, even if I am married. We can kick James out and eat ice cream and watch movies if you want.