Backseat Drivers (Latching Onto the Right Person)

Song of the Day: Latch by, Boyce Avenue feat. Lia Marie Johnson (original song by Disclosure feat. Sam Smith)

On today's song: I love the original, but this acoustic cover is just pure ear magic! It highlights the song's sincere and romantic lyrics, making it the romantic song it was destined to be than the club banger it became. :) 

I've come to a point in my life where my decisions will definitely affect my destiny. That's daunting to say the least. Even President Monson has informed us this past General Conference that "decisions determine destiny." 

Because of that, I've noticed people trying to advise and counsel me on every detail of my life: from what career I should pursue to even the people I talk to. 

I understand this advice when it's coming from my family and my bishop.....but then there are times where random people (whom I've only met once) would try to fill in the roles that are already filled. 

Hope and Trust (And I'm Still Into You)

Song of the Day: Still Into You by, Paramore 

Today was a fantastic day! 

After taking 4 midterms (all while still maintaining my research work and President duties) I finally have a week off from anything majorly stressful! 

I decided to use this time to serve others. Melanie and I worked on banners and a delicious chocolate cake for my roommate Taran since today was her birthday.

Result?: SUCCESS. Even though the chocolate started dripping off the plate, but that was our only problem. :) 

I am understanding and loving my Ochem class now, I was spiritually fed in my Doctrine and Covenants class. and my Sociology class ended early. 

I had a great time working with Lauren Moxley on our research and we both got our Ochem tests back....and guess what? I IMPROVED!  This was supposedly the hardest test in the semester and I did better than before! I was so happy! 

But later on that evening, some of my friends starting comparing test scores.....and that's when I found out that I didn't do as well as I thought. (at least in my eyes) I was so discouraged because I was so happy previously...but once the smarty, ambitious kids started comparing point by point, I was sad. I felt my worth come crashing down. 

Will I ever reach my goal, my dream to help other people? Will I ever become a doctor? 

Patience is a Virtue (A Little Bit Longer....)

 

Song of the Day: Not a Bad Thing by, Justin Timberlake

I'm going to admit a long-time secret that not many people know about: I have a love-hate relationship with dances.

The "love" part: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE to dance! I love getting into the groove, feeling the bass,  go all-out, and dance all my cares and worries away! I love getting down with my friends and do all those cheesy dance moves we see in the movies. I love getting all dolled up and doing inadvisable things with my dress. I just love dances!

The "hate" part (this is the secretive part): Most of these dances (specifically the formal ones where I have the excuse to get pretty and wear a formal dress) require a date. I have never been invited to a formal dance. I never had a date for Homecoming; I went with my group of girlfriends. And to all those times I went to Prom, I asked the guy out. I invited someone, but never the other way around.

So every time I hear about a dance I get giddy with excitement...
I get excited because I always have that sliver of hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, this time around....someone will see how awesome/crazy of a dancer I am and just ask me to be their dance partner for that evening.

....and then I dread ever having that thought cross my mind....
because in reality, it doesn't happen.

This hit me hard this week.

Sudden Illness (And How Ice Cream can both help and worsen that sickness)

Song of the Day: Sudden Illness by, Ailee 

Soo the inevitable has happened.....but I didn't think it would end this horribly. 

David told me some....choice words that hurt me more than the fact that there was no future possibility for us. It also didn't help with the fact that he delayed this announcement for two days while I felt like dying from sickness and stress. Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but you get my point. 

Insert rant here: 

Note to all guys who are interested in me in the future: PLEASE DON'T HOLD IN YOUR THOUGHTS. I'm the type of girl that needs to know problems right away. If you tell me "Hey, I need to tell you something but I don't know how you'll take it" I will start freaking out and coming up with conspiracy theories until you tell me. JUST TELL ME. I know it sucks, but really it gets better after the initial shock. I promise.

End rant. 

Okay, so after he prepped with that ominous foreshadowing, in the back of my mind I knew it was going to end. But even with this mental preparation, I still feel pretty crappy, and I still didn't have an answer to the impending question: 

How do I move on?

I need to replace my old routine with a new, more productive one. A still, small voice told me then,

Baby steps, Maya. Baby steps. 

And so I took my first step. 

Wake Me Up When September Ends (On Endings and Relationships)

Song of the Day: Roller Coaster by, Justin Bieber

Fun fact: I am actually starting to become a fan of Justin's music. I just wished he wasn't such a jerk.....what a waste of talent. 

Well, throughout this entire month, I've been going through a roller coaster of emotions (see what I did there? Okay, I'll stop trying to be funny.) 

One minute I'm spiritually enlightened, happy about everything and just want to talk to everybody. The next, I feel lonely and dejected and anti-social. So far, I am able to jump back thanks to the temple, the scriptures, and general conference talks. TAKE THAT SATAN! 

However, this week in particular has been especially hard. 

Walking Along this Distant Road (A New Perspective on Life)

Song of the Day: All My Love is For You by, SNSD 

It's that time of year again. Time to put my thinking cap on and study chemistry, biology, psychology, physiology, and any other science subject there is in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor. 

To be quite honest, I was actually scared of how I would be when I got back from Guatemala. 

Before Guatemala, I had a mild depression episode because I shut myself in and did nothing but study....but that's another story for another time. 

In short, Guatemala was an escape from reality where I was able to live my dream and be happy. But now I'm back in reality....

But I'm doing fine actually. Better than I thought I would be. :) 

Now sure, the first day of school was kinda a mess. I lost both my TA position and my position in my research lab due to losses in funding and the fact that I didn't have internet connection (lesson learned).

But don't worry. After an entire day of running around campus like a maniac and emailing just about everyone I knew, I managed to regain my TA position. The lab position is still pending....maybe there's a reason why I'm not engaged in research at the moment. With my workload and extracurricular load I think I might just explode.

A month has passed and that explosion hasn't happened yet. Sure, I've cried every now and then, but I haven't exploded to depression levels. I don't even have an acne problem now. I have a new, positive outlook in life!

And it's all thanks to 11 people.

Meet David (My Platypus)

Song of the Day: Darte un Beso by, Prince Royce 

(the music video is one of my favorites! It's just so cute and romantic and ah!)

A few warnings beforehand:

• I may or may not be seeing him in rose-colored glasses. But I would also like to point out that since he IS my first boyfriend ever, the bias would be there regardless. But I will try to be as impartial as possible.
• Yes, we have officially broken up, but we still talk to each other often. This is because we didn’t break up because we no longer had feelings for each other, but we wanted to work on our friendship and our relationship with God and being in a relationship would not help. 

So in my previous post I compared David to a platypus. And I mean that in the best way possible. In other words, he’s kind of amazing.

My platypus :)

Here are 20 things about this guy that I was fortunate enough to have as a first boyfriend.