Sudden Illness (And How Ice Cream can both help and worsen that sickness)

Song of the Day: Sudden Illness by, Ailee 

Soo the inevitable has happened.....but I didn't think it would end this horribly. 

David told me some....choice words that hurt me more than the fact that there was no future possibility for us. It also didn't help with the fact that he delayed this announcement for two days while I felt like dying from sickness and stress. Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but you get my point. 

Insert rant here: 

Note to all guys who are interested in me in the future: PLEASE DON'T HOLD IN YOUR THOUGHTS. I'm the type of girl that needs to know problems right away. If you tell me "Hey, I need to tell you something but I don't know how you'll take it" I will start freaking out and coming up with conspiracy theories until you tell me. JUST TELL ME. I know it sucks, but really it gets better after the initial shock. I promise.

End rant. 

Okay, so after he prepped with that ominous foreshadowing, in the back of my mind I knew it was going to end. But even with this mental preparation, I still feel pretty crappy, and I still didn't have an answer to the impending question: 

How do I move on?

I need to replace my old routine with a new, more productive one. A still, small voice told me then,

Baby steps, Maya. Baby steps. 

And so I took my first step. 

Friday night: did not talk to him. It was HARD. Luckily there was "pasta night" at Monticello and so I participated in holding and stretching a 75 foot long pasta. A 75 FOOT LONG PASTA. It was definitely interesting seeing people weave around each other as we pushed the pasta through the machine.....before it could dry out and start falling apart. Well, we succeeded!!! 

Not only did I receive a free, delicious meal by the talented Michael Biancardi, but I was able to get the social interactions I desperately needed. Face-to-face human interaction. 

Another small blessing came up: I had a ward reunion with my freshman ward (or what's left of us at this point. Most of the sister missionaries will be back in a month while the guys still have another 6-8 months left. HOLY CRAP EMILY AND MARLEE AND JOHN AND CAMERON AND STEVEN AND JUSTIN ARE COMING BACK SO SOON! YAY!!!!). I initially thought it was going to be boring and a waste of time.

Boy am I glad I was so so so so so SO wrong there. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time! 

Thanks to Ashley Livingston and Kirstie Stanger and Kirsten Grossen for making my night. I needed that much-needed girl talk. (and special shout-out to Erica Tayler who's waiting for #teamjohn to happen hahaha) 

Saturday: Still did not talk to him. Had a lovely lunch date with Dr. Morita. She told me I am slowly, but surely, becoming compatible for medical school. I thanked Heavenly Father for that much needed encouragement from my role model! :D 

Then I watched Meet the Mormons with Melanie and Kara and our group of friends.(Shout out to Greg Nelson for watching in the same theater with us!) Again, I found encouragement while watching the story of The Fighter. Holy crap, I want to be like her one day: Doing the thing I love doing while being a mother to beautiful children! <3 

One day Maya....one day :) 

After that, Kyle Miller, aka my awesome co-chair aka #lazygrandpa, invited me over to play Super Smash Bros. with some guys in the ward. The gamer girl in me got out and I was having a BLAST! I missed those Saturday mornings/random days where I played Super Smash Bros. with my little brother and my other "brother" Carlos. I truly needed that. Thanks Kyle for continuously killing me.....and then letting me win twice ;) 

(he says I'm the best girl he's ever played against. I think he's lying hahaha) 

Then I called my grandpa and parents to see how they were doing. They gave me news that lowered my spirits a bit. But luckily....

Sunday: A wonderful day full of General Conference talks! I needed those reminders. <3 Especially since I may or may not have drifting in and out of sleep during the Sunday afternoon session. >.< (but hey, I was falling sick at that point, so cut me some slack!) 

The thing I was dreading though was after church service. I was eating alone, and so I decided to eat with the picture of Jesus Christ (shout-out to Scott McClellan) to remind me that even though I'm alone, Jesus Christ- my Savior and the one who committed the biggest act of love ever in the history of the world- was alone during his hardest times. I thought that that was enough to get me through the day. 

And then. Something happened. 

My home teacher Ryan Lanning and his roommate John Chadwick came in with ice cream, bowls, and spoons. We then sat down on the floor and chatted while eating ice cream (keep in mind, I'm still sick at this point hahahaha. You can thank David for that one since stress and heartbreak does not help in ailing illnesses) and though the ice cream chat was not ailing my physical illness, it ailed the illness in my heart....

And then another thing happened. 

Adam Shumway, Steven Klepacz, and Josh Coleman (the Elders Quorum in charge of my Relief Society) came in with a can of chowder (since they knew I was sick) and I brought out another box of ice cream and we chatted some more. Even Kyle decided to hang out (even though he came over for FHE business.... sorry Kyle!). 

And after all the men came and went, Bobbe- one of the best visiting teachers I have had- came over and we had girl time. 

This was weird for me. I've never had that many visitors come in one day! Especially GUYS! I kinda felt claustrophobic with so many guys there (if one of you guys is reading this, don't worry, I appreciated your visit! Except I'm not used to- and therefore not very comfortable with- those types of situations. If I didn't show it, good. I was actually freaking out on the inside.) 

And then I realized: Heavenly Father, you sure are looking out for me on this one. Thank you. 

It could have been a very lonely afternoon where my thoughts would consume me and I would cave in and start talking to him again. Instead, He sent out angels to comfort and accompany me during this hard time so that way, I knew I was loved and I can move on more quickly. 

I didn't talk to him all Sunday and haven't talked to him since. 

It's getting easier. 

Now I would be lying if I said that I have truly moved on. There are songs that would come up on my playlist that (unfortunately or fortunately....still don't know yet) bring back special memories. But I'll take it one day at a time. It gets easier when you think like that. 

Before: I was Lieutenant Dan. Now: I'm Forrest Gump! (not literally)

It is Tuesday and I'm still physically sick. I (kinda) blame the ice cream chat for that. :P  But, like my emotional "sickness" it's getting better day by day. 

I have made new friendships that desperately needed to be made. 

I have grown closer to my Savior Jesus Christ than ever before. 

I have grown stronger from this entire experience. 

So even though I really want you to leave like now David, I thank you, for everything. 

So what's in store for me? No se. I'm taking it one day at a time :) 

Well, I do have a Girls' Night Out with Bobbe, the other Maya, Mikayla Prince, and our new friend Sadie this Friday! 

And I'm thinking of asking a guy for the ward's pumpkin carving date. 

And there's the Homecoming Parade. 

And I just found out that David Archuleta is officially studying at BYU. 

I think I'm feeling better already! Hahahaha :)

Until next time, 

Love, 

Maya 

P.S. In case some of you were wondering about the relationship between David's family and me, we're still on really good terms. It's just a little awkward since the event just happened like a couple of days ago. But don't worry! I'll be visiting them next summer! (thank goodness he'll be gone by then hehehehe)